Wedding preparation in 3... 2.... 1.......

We all know what comes after the engagement: The wedding (preparation) itself. And we all know what it means to prepare a wedding, especially in Indonesia: bridezilla time! *ugh*

At the engagement party we announced to our family and friends that we'll tie the knot on October this year, if not earlier. By earlier we meant a month or two. But well..... things after things happened and.... well, July it is. So we only have 4 months to prepare everything from scratch because we haven't started anything yet. Not until this week. No, it's not because we're lazy arses. It's because there are things to take care of before we can settle the date. So again, July it is.

I myself is involved in a wedding organizer. So I'm more or less quite familiar with things that I have to take care of. But still, when it comes to my own wedding, it really is quite a hard time trying to make peace with budget and still not letting go of my dream wedding. I even fight with my fiancee, and even my mom, over this. Disitu gw bener-bener sampe mikir "oh wow, kerumitan menjelang pernikahan itu benar adanya" haha because it is, especially with a tight budget :P But then again, pacar gw tunangan gw selalu ngingetin 

"yang penting kan esensi acaranya aku nikah sama kamu. Aku mah mau cuma acara akad doang juga ga masalah. Yang ada bayangan mau ini itu kan kamu. Jadi jangan sampe ribet apalagi terlalu maksain buat acara resepsi lah. Budgetnya ada segini, ini bukan jumlah yang kecil loh. Sama sekali ga kecil, bisa banget bikin acara bagus asal kitanya pinter ngaturnya. Undangannya juga dipilih lagi bener-bener" 

That's what he said. More or less. Habis digituin rasanya kaya ditampar sedikit haha. He's right in every way. The most important thing is the marriage itself, not the wedding. After giving a deep thought, I do think it's not necessary to invite hundreds or even thousands of people that most of them, in my prediction, I don't even know. The objective is to share our happiness with close family and friends. So that's what we plan to do. I even am beginning to say "yang, gila bgt ngabisin uang segini buat acara 2 jam ya. mendingan buat DP rumah sama mobil gak sih?" Hahaha. 

To be honest I'm a bit nervous facing the preparation. Takut tiba-tiba ada pengeluaran besar tak terduga lah, takut ada yang baru keinget di belakang meskipun sebisa mungkin semua udah dilist dari awal sedetail-detailnya, Takut tiba-tiba pusing sendiri, daaan yang terpenting, Ion (nama tunangan gw) sekarang kerja di Kuningan, Jawa Barat. Ever since he moved there, kerjaannya jadi superbanyak sibuk banget, on working hours nyaris ga bisa dihubungin, even di waktu istirahat. Jadi agak deg-degan juga nih dia pasti kalo lagi ga balik cuma akan bisa handle things setelah maghrib, dan tentunya hanya bisa via telfon/chat/email. Sejauh ini sih dia Alhamdulillaahnya sangat SANGAT helpful dan mau ikut repot banget. Tapi tetep deg-degan hahaha. But I'm sure we'll get through this!

As for my preparation, I'll try to share the process here. Siapatau bisa berguna untuk calon pengantin lainnya yang lagi cari-cari referensi atau yang masih have no idea what to do banget terus perlu info untuk memulai. Enjoy!

The unexpected twist in my story

It all happened so fast. Really fast. As fast as this:

10 Sept 15: We first talk to each other via chat on a dating app, but we moved to line that very same day. He told me he's into a serious relationship and if I'm not in to that I might as well just don't start anything with him at all. That. Very. Same. Day.

17 Sept 15: First phone call, spitting out all secrets and dark pasts and everything. To make sure there are no deal breakers. 

19 Sept 15: First time we met each other. I said yes, I'd be his girl and if odds are ever in our favor, would be his wife. To a man I barely know. Call me weird. Or crazy, even.

The first time we met. A very awkward photo of us.

14 Nov 15: He asked my Dad's permission to marry me.

6 Dec 15: Our parents met

3 Jan 16: We're engaged.

CRAZY FAST. Right? That was simplified though, it was more complicated than that in real life but the timeline is more or less just like that. I don't know why it all happened so fast. What I know is, when I met this guy, I find him to be the answer of my prayer. Everything I ask God after that nasty breakup with my ex, he has it. Except for, well, he's not Javanese and he's not as tall. HEHE. But the rest he totally has it. It was too dreamy I couldn't believe myself. But in doubt, I prayed "God, if he's the one, then open the path as wide as it can be, show us the way so we can walk it down. If not, help me not to get too far with him". And things after things unexpectedly happened and led us to where we are now. 

Some people ask me, "Are you sure you're going to be married to him? You don't know him. And even if you both are very open to each other about everything, still, how well can you possibly figure him out in that short of time?". This is where the leap of faith takes place. What I know is, before him, I ALWAYS have doubts. Most of the times, not the small ones. But with him, it's like I don't have anything to worry about at all. It just flows. I adore him so much. Even when we fight I always can see the reason why he has to do what he did. Even when I feel like punching him in the face, I still feel the urge to hug him to be bigger. We fight big fights. We love hard. I think this is what they mean by "you know when you know".

My favorite photo!

I know I'm not the first person who finds him so lovable. I bet his ex(s) love him as much too, at their time. I know I don't share his taste of music like his ex does. I don't love cats like his ex does. We like different things. I'm not a beauty nor the stylish one. Not artsy at all. Not even that soft and gentle woman, God no. I'm not the one that turns his world upside down and make him say "I fucking love you so much". 

Sometimes I still have my insecurities about those things. Scared that he might have just... "made peace" with what he can have right now. Scared that this is all just about the right timing. I've always been an over-thinker with average self-esteem, as you can see. He hates it when this side of me comes out. Me too, actually. BUT. God created human in pairs. There must be some reason why we're meant for each other. Why, despite of all our differences, we both feel what people call "connection". 

And I still have a lifetime to figure that out. <3

qqluvd kecayankandqu. Well, we have weird pet name(s).